City Of Hope Hospital

today i woke up at 11:45 cause my friend had called me asking for a friend's phone number which is late for me day off or no day off....at 1:30 ish my brother said that he was going to visit my cousin in the hospital and that if i wanted to come. I of course said yes. My cousin was diagnosed with lymphoma the night before I went to the U2 concert...that was a downer for me, finding out my cousin has cancer the day before you see the sexiest band living. so anywayz me and my brother leave to City Of Hope Hospital in Dwarte (a hospital specialized for cancer treatment)....which is about 30 mins or so (without traffic) from our house. that hospital was more convenient to get to then St. John's near her house. After getting lost for 10 mins we finally get to the hospital. we had to go through 3 different parts of the hospital to finally find the right building. when we did find the right building though, we couldn't find her room. that hospital is big i tellz ya!! so we got to her room around 3. she was surprised to see us. i gave her a hug but had to be aware that she had the iv in her chest...so i was extra careful. she cut her hair so that it wouldn't fall out during kemo...and everytime she stroked it more would fall out...it was really sad. we kinda ignored the setting of where we were and it was just like hanging out with our cousin. we laughed and laughed while watching day time talk shows. she asked for some morphine cause her bones were hurting. and the nurse came in once to give her the steroid medication but other than that we were alone hanging. while we were watching ellen the hospital recreation leader came in and asked if she wanted anything to do but then she looked over at the t.v. and said "you must be pretty stoned if you think that ellen is funny". the rec. leader brought up some clay and my brother made a snowman and she made a monkey while i ate the clay (seriously, i wanted to see what it tasted like...not good may i add). we didn't leave till about 5:30...but it was so hard to say good bye!! i didn't want to leave but i had to. i would have stayed there all night if i could. it's pretty sad....but she's pullin' through!! her lumps are gone...but she still might need a bone marrow transfusion from her sisters. she lost alot of weight but the steroids give her a big appetite. i think what kills her (and me emotionally) is that all she wants to do is go outside and go home...and she wants to eat a hamburger and kfc mashed potatoes. she can't eat stuff with bacteria like cheese unless it is melted...and no outside food. i'll be back to visit her soon (with hidden mashed potatoes in my purse). till then we sit here and pray and hope and wait....much love Melissa*